Gunnerrific

I have a new Fabregas wallpaper up in the wallpaper section. Even though Fabregas is down, he’s not out. I’m long overdue for a Fabregas wallpaper anyway, so the comments say.

But first, a limerick.

There once was a man named Fabregas,
who hit with his foot a magic pass.
Received deftly by Walcott,
in the defense, finds a weak spot,
and as for the goal, it was pure class.

Now that you endured that, I dare you to do better. It’s harder than it looks.

The new Fabregas wallpaper I made is really simple. I found a very high quality Fabregas photo on Flickr, via Fid aka Theo, with the Creative Commons license attached. The preview:

Fabregas, pure class

Check out the new wallpaper here, or the rest of my wallpapers here.

I don’t really know where to start. Everything seemed to be going so well for our makeshift squad as we were 2-0 up against a woeful Wigan in the 80th minute. That should really be the end of the story. Unfortunately, the B team we had on the pitch forgot to finish the game and allowed Wigan to score 3 goals in 11 minutes. Our title hopes were ruined yet again.

The first half was frustrating and full of the typical ‘Arsenal problem’ in which we pass the ball around a lot without taking a shot. At one point one of Walcott’s crosses was handled and it was an obvious penalty. This was missed, but it was clear at this point that we had an advantage. Later, while running down the right side, Walcott then chose to cross a ball that he obviously should’ve taken the shot on. He still seems gun shy at times.

Fortunately Walcott’s goal in the 41st relieved all the tension. A perfectly placed shot buried in the back of net and we were on top. This is the type of goal we need Walcott to score. He was on the run, receiving a well placed pass from Bendtner, and confronted with defenders all around. He still managed to pull his way through and muscle a shot off.

There was a brief moment of tension when Watson went down in the box. Anyone that is claiming that Nasri’s pull on Watson was a penalty is an idiot. Nasri barely tugged on him and he fell down like a huge sack of pitiful potatoes. It was embarrassing, and I’m glad the ref made the right call.

In the second half, Silvestre managed to find himself completely unmarked to receive a corner perfectly on the head. 2-0 and Arsenal was just having a walk in the park.

At the 80th minute everything fell apart.

The first Wigan goal was a fluke. We had men all over the box and the pull back from Moses seemed completely accidentally placed. Watson happened to be in the right place at the right time and drilled it into the back of the net. You could say that our defenders were misplaced, but in looking at the replay it seems like we were just unlucky. We had every passing lane covered except for the unlikely pull back, which wasn’t even intended. If anything, it was the play leading up to this goal in which we allowed far too much space for Wigan to move up the pitch.

The second Wigan goal was a fluke. Fabianksi was a nightmare. There’s no way around it. Despite it being his birthday he was completely unsure of himself. Throughout the whole match he appeared to be questioning himself and lacking confidence. When the mistake came, it was a bad one. He had both hands on the ball but just didn’t hold onto it. Of course Bramble was right there to nod it into the back of the net.

The third Wigan goal was a fluke. N’Zogbia manhandled his way across the outside of the box while Clichy, Silvestre, and Campbell all tried to prevent any sort of shot on target. The strike was perfect, curling inward and off the post.

Fluke fluke fluke. We are very susceptible them.

Here’s the deal.

We are missing Fabregas, Arshavin, Gallas, Vermaelen, and Song, and Van Persie is still not fit for a full 90 minutes. That is 6 players out of our starting 11! At the end of the day, with those sorts of injuries, we are just not going to win as much. Someone really needs to do some investigating to find out why we are susceptible to so many injuries that last for so long. I’m less worried about Wenger’s choice of Eastmond over Eboue or Traore than I am over the fact that we keep getting destroyed by these injuries.

Given the number of injuries we’ve had to deal with as of late, it could be worse. Given how long Van Persie has been out, it could be worse. As of this point, it seems as though our 3rd place spot is guaranteed, and it could be worse.

In other news, Torres is out for 6 weeks, making Liverpool’s attempt to take the 4th spot all the more difficult. It appears as though for the first time, in a long time, the traditional top 4′s reign will be over. Fortunately Arsenal isn’t the odd team out.

In the wake of Tottenham’s unfortunate, lucky, and regrettable 2-1 victory over Arsenal, they have released a number of products to both memorialize their efforts and squeeze everything they can out of their fan base. I didn’t know Spurs fans had money to spend outside of fish and chips and terrible beer.

Below I have gathered some of the amazing products that you can purchase from Tottenham. I don’t know why you would ever want to see these terrible things, but it’s fun to see what sort of stupid goods our rival’s product managers are creating…

An Unforgettable Night DVD

Entitled ‘An Unforgettable Night’, this entirely forgettable DVD is a direct HD transfer of the game broadcast. It features absolutely no extras, no commentary, and no analysis, because frankly they just didn’t have the time, money, or knowledge to pull that sort of thing off. If you enjoy watching approximately 30,000 blithering idiots yell like cavemen then this DVD is for you.

The center point of the match is a wonderfully lucky one-time volley from a debut player named Danny Rose. Remember that name, as you are likely to never hear it again. Never, ever, again.

Witness a miracle that takes place once every 11 years, less frequent than a lunar eclipse, in this jam packed DVD full of… one match? Well at least it is only… wait £9.99? Seriously?

Tottenham Memorial Tea Towels

Every once in awhile a man needs a tea towel. I don’t know why anyone would, but they just do. Why would somebody use a normal tea towel when they could dry things in Spurs’ style?

To solve this eternal problem, you can now buy a Tottenham Memorial Tea Towel set that commemorates Tottenham’s once every decade win over Arsenal at White Hart Lane. If you don’t know what to use the tea towels for, you can wear them over your face, like a bag, in the style of Gareth Bale.

Buy now and you get an oven mitt so you won’t keep burning your hands when you heat that microwavable pizza!

Rubber Ducky

We all know that Tottenham supporters don’t know how to operate showers. Fortunately, most Spurs fans at least know how to draw a bath. However, it’s difficult to entice that very same person to actually get in the bath. That’s why Tottenham has finally introduced a new line of Rubber Duckies.

This little yellow rubber ducky can’t actually think or see, so it will be a perfect companion for any Tottenham supporter. Wearing a Spurs kit though, it has developed a deep feeling of embarrassment about itself.

This particular model is an exact replica of Danny Rose’s first rubber ducky, which he still uses to this day.

Lasagna Tin

Tottenham’s new line of Lasagna tins are perfect for cooking up big heeping helpings of cheap, overcooked Lasagna. Never again will a Spurs fan need to buy microwavable lasagna… its time to cook in style using an oven! Now you can celebrate the 2-1 victory over Arsenal while watching the game on the new DVD and eating some lasagna!

These new Lasagna Tins contain 50% less toxic chemicals than our previous line. As a result, Tottenham can guarantee that people will get sick 50% less of the time then the previous model when using them.

Twitch Suppressant

Twitchers rejoice! After beating Tottenham, Harry Redknapp revealed his new line of Twitch Suppressant pills. These new pills will help stave off those annoying twitches that Tottenham fans may feel when they get nervous, lose games, or become resentful about their club (pretty much all the time).

In addition, these Twitch Suppressants have an added bonus in certain… male… areas. To compensate for the lack of twitching, this medication guarantees that male users will last 25% longer in bed. If effects last for longer than 4 hours, don’t bother calling a doctor. It’s already too late.

Well that’s it for the new Tottenham Hotspur ‘Unforgettable Night’ Memorial-Commemorative Decade-long-home-win-over-Arsenal line. I can’t wait to see what Arsenal is going to come up with to cheer up all of us Gooners.

Well that didn’t go too well. The stars and planets have aligned and Tottenham’s “once every 11 year win-at-home against Arsenal” was apparently due. The game was pretty one sided except for the 2 goals Tottenham managed to produce. Arsenal maintained 66% of ball possession and pulled off 8 more shots on goal, although only 1 of those was actually, you know, on goal.

Words really can not describe how tingly I felt inside to see Robin Van Persie on the pitch. When he cam on, the game instantly changed. Given that he only played for a bit, he produced some wonderful changes, played well, and seems to be his old self. As usual I will keep my fingers crossed that he comes back with a vengeance.

What Arsene Wenger had to say after the match.

Arsene Wenger said before the match that if we didn’t win the chance to win the title was over, and I have to agree. Given the amount of injuries we have sustained it would be unrealistic to assume that we can win every game for the rest of the season. In addition, both Manchester and Chelsea need to drop points, which is just as unlikely.

To top it all off, Vermaelen was injured early on and is expected to be out for 3 weeks. Great. Someone really does need to do some investigation into what our players are eating and/or drinking. Just as someone comes back from injury, someone else goes out. This has happened regularly every season and I think it is probably our most significant issue. We are just too susceptible to injuries that cause multiple week-long absences.

Our season has just deflated with the same sound a large, uninspiring, two-day old birthday balloon produces. Pfffffffffffffffffffft.

*Photo courtesy user Gordonflood.com on Flickr via CC w/attribution license.

How dare he! Yesterday I wrote a short blurb about Van Persie and how much I would be SHOCKED if he actually played at all against Tottenham. I presumed all the rumors were just made up stories to attract attention. Well, I appear to have successfully reverse jinxed us because more and more reports of him being completely match fit are pouring in. Hooray!

And from the mist a figure appears... ROBIN VAN PERSIE.

The original image is Creative Commons licensed with attribution courtesy of Flickr user wonker, who appears to be a season ticket holder with some pretty good seats.

How much of an impact would RvP have made on our season? It is impossible to know, but surely our scoring capacity wouldn’t be so lacking. Perhaps it is not too late for him to have a say in the 2009-10 season. The race is still tight, and if we didn’t have so many injuries our odds wouldn’t look so dismal.

It sounds as though Arsenal’s on-again-off-again man Sol Campbell will get a start as a result of all our injuries. Our injuries are pretty much terrible. Does anyone know of any sort of ‘injury study’ in which all the different teams are compared in terms of their injury histories? Clearly we would have to be challenging for the top spot. It’s a shock that Arsene Wenger hasn’t sustained an injury yet.  I wonder how long he would need to take before he considers himself match fit.

I was going to make a picture of Robin Van Persie as The Terminator saying the infamous words “I’ll be back” but you’re very lucky because I thought better of it. Very lucky.

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, Lady Bracewell-Smith is looking into the option of selling her shares of Arsenal stock.

Phew. That was a lot of links. It’s like Google news or something. I hope you didn’t click any of them.

Anyways, this rumored sell-off of 15.9% of the sum of Arsenal shares could create some boardroom turmoil resulting in a potential take-over. Like most things, there’s little use in worrying over it. And attempting to project some sort of possible outcome is likely to be fruitless too, given the number of individuals involved. In either case, it might result in Stan Kroenke and Alisher Usmanov having another throw-down. I expect it to be just like Mad Max… Two billionaire enter, one Arsenal owner leave!

Can anyone spare a kit?

The only question I have is… how much of an Arsenal fan is Lady Bracewell-Smith? I can’t find a picture of her at a game or in a kit. What gives?! And selling off all her shares? Well… I can’t really speculate to that. Maybe she just needs the cash.

In other news, Robin Van Persie may see some action against Tottenham on Wednesday. I’ll be shocked, SHOCKED, if he plays at all. We all know how long Mr. Wenger likes to rest his players before they are truly ‘match fit’ so why would it be any different for someone that has been out so long? Especially after gambling with Fabregas and losing horribly? I think we can still handle Tottenham without RvP, so I’d just as well like to see him behind the bench.

The Bleacher Report has a great write up of the derby and why it is a must watch game. Given the desperate need of points on both sides it has the potential to be a classic.