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Hear No Evil, Robin Van Persie

That match against Barcelona was somewhat typical in that we lost, a ref made a terrible decision, and it has ended our Champion’s League hopes. It’s the Barca trifecta, the dirty gits.

The whole thing was marred by the sending off of Robin Van Persie. What was a Barcelona advantage at 1-1 quickly turned into a Barcelona win when Arsenal went a man down.

Simply put, the ref was a joke. He was having a laugh.

You're a joke, ref

Given the missing Alex Song and Theo Walcott, and going a man down at the 55th, we didn’t do all that bad. Funny that you can say that with what statisticians are saying were 0 shots on goal.

The Blunder

That Carling Cup final was a thrilling match. We played well, as did Birmingham. Despite owning the majority of the possession, having more shots, more shots on goal, and just generally putting on a better performance, we lost.

I’m not going to go into details about why we should’ve won, or why we didn’t deserve to win, or what we should’ve done differently, or how unfair it is.

The one thing about this match, like other matches before it, is that a particular image has been forever burned into my mind. Like the Champion’s League Final with Lehmann sliding in on Eto’o, or another Carling cup Final featuring Drogba scoring again and again. I will always remember the shot of Koscielny and Szczesny, on their knees, with the look of utter defeat and regret in their eyes.

The Blunder

And so the season continues. Come on Arsenal.

Never Forget

Arsenal’s victory over Barcelona yesterday was the stuff that dreams are made of. A bit of a rivalry has been developing between the clubs, and Arsenal has now tipped the scales in their favor. It was an epic performance against an equally brilliant challenger, and Arsenal deserve much more praise than anyone outside the Arsenal blogosphere are giving them.

The start of the game was indicative that Arsenal could pull off a win. We were dominating possession and getting some really good opportunities. It was only after the first 15 minutes that Barcelona began to settle. We continued to play a high line and pressed possession at every opportunity, which seemed to catch Barcelona off guard. The high line only failed us a couple of times (which is a couple of times too many), mainly due to Barcelona’s speed and a lack of concentration in our defense. But that could be overly critical.

As Arseblog mentioned, Barcelona were playing at their best. We should keep this in mind because it’s not as if we just got lucky or they had an off day. We beat them on their best day, with almost their best squad (like ours). We can never forget this.

The main of the night was Jack Wilshere, and everyone is unanimous in that proclamation. The boy wonder is now a man wonder, whatever that is. He played his own style of football that we goners are used to seeing day in and day out. However, he played it against what people continue call the best team in the world. The collective age and experience of Xavi, Iniesta, Busquets, and Messi didn’t deter him at all. He was calm and collective on the ball, maintained possession in dangerous situations, and created opportunities and passing lanes. He was in there.

He looks for Arshaviiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!! Martin Tyler was getting really heated up as Nasri barreled down that right side from Fabregas’ pass. Just check this video courtesy of Arsenalist and 101greatgoals. Arshavin is a little deserving of redemption from the critics and pundits that have dogged him. Although his form has dipped slightly, he is still a great player, and he proved that in what I already called a brilliant substation from Wenger. I was confused that Denilson wasn’t the selection, but Arhsavin proved to be the right choice. The little Russian is working out well as a substitute assassin. That second goal was a thing of beauty, from the back line to the back of the net in a matter of seconds.

Arsenal V Barcelona - Trolls

Fabregas had a great game as well, although he was marked heavily by the opposition. It was a good thing Wilshere had such a great game, because Fabregas was barely allowed wiggling room because of the heavy pressure on him. Although Busquets had some poor lapses, by and large Fabregas was cut off. The Barcelona camp had said that he was among their top priorities, and it showed on the pitch. The game had particular significance to Fabregas, with an uncertain future and what I’m sure were conflicted feelings about playing his boyhood club. It was great to see him lead Arsenal to victory.

Alex Song was forced to play a stunted role because of the early yellow card. The early yellow was a huge decision from the referee, which was given without prior offense. From that point on, everybody held their breath every time Song went in for a challenge. We all know that even a clean challenge can result in another card depending on the reaction of the opposing player, so it was a dicey situation for Song. Fortunately he continued to press well and came off in what was a perfect sub from Wenger early in the second half.

Walcott’s speed gave Barcelona problems and confusion. Unsure of his movements, cutting inside or pushing out, Barcelona allowed Walcott to create space and openings for Arsenal. When Bendtner came on for Walcott in the 77th, I think Barcelona felt as though they’d escaped the speed problem. Nasri proved them wrong.

Koscielny was a stalwart in our back line. Although both he and Djourou played well, Koscielny was the man who stood out. Every game he is better and better, and this was the match where you wanted to see him really stand out. He made Barcelona’s strikers look like chumps.

Clichy could be blamed for Barcelona’s goal, but he also set up Van Persie’s. Besides, the whole line was caught off by that Barcelona goal. I don’t think it’s fair to single out Clichy. Clichy was an instrumental figure in taking apart the Barcelona passes.

Robin van Persie was a menace for Pique and Abidal. And frankly for Maxwell and Dani Alves as well. He had 7 shots, more than anyone else on the pitch (2 more than Messi). He also had the most shots on goal. Van Persie’s first goal was a thing of beauty. It was the type of shot that strikers take and you get angry for wasting such a narrow opportunity. But guess what? Those crazy shots can go in if the circumstances are right.

Half Karate ChopHere’s a nice little gif of Samir being a badass has also surfaced courtesy of arsegirl on tumblr. That looks like a pulled Karate Chop.

One of the things we’ll benefit from on the return leg in Barcelona is the appearance of Sagna. Although Eboue was great in the right back position that he now frequents, we all know that at the end of the day Sagna offers an edge in both defensive and offensive strength. Eboue put in a solid performance and it’s a good thing that he is still a member of the squad, despite his ups and downs. Let’s all remember that Eboue was party of the 11 that beat Barca.

As usual, Zonal Marking has a nice write-up of the match.

The New LehmannAnd @GunnerArchitect pointed me in the direction of this nice little clip from Nike which shows all of Fabregas’ secrets. It’s pretty much exactly what he did on the second goal to set up that lengthy Nasri pass/run.

Here’s a clip of Szczesny pumping it via 7amkickoff. With moves like that, he’s going to give Lehmann a run for his money as “most bizarre Arsenal keeper”. Yeah Szczesny… give it to that ghost… do it. Given his performance, he can celebrate however he’d like. He never waive red, and came up with some really spectacular saves. This guy was our third string keeper not so long ago!

Messi is #2, Barcelona are Trolls

THE DAY IS AT HAND.

It’s put up or shut up time for the old Arsenal. Today we host Barcelona in the fabled Champion’s League in a game which surely the entire world will be watching. When we have a global audience for big games like this I get extremely excited and extremely worried.

For one, the lads have the opportunity to really strut their stuff and make what many people say is “the best team in the world” look like a bunch of school kids. On the other hand, “the best team in the world” has yet another opportunity to make us look bad.  Barcelona has become the latest bandwagon team and I just hate having conversations with bandwagoners about Arsenal.

Barcelona Is Number Two

I am crossing my fingers and hoping for a thrilling match in which Arsenal put things to rest.

In other news, Messi says Barca is just number two. Either that or he has a turtle head poking out.

News ahead of a game like this is always frenzied. The last reports out of Arsenal are that Nasri is fully fit and will be starting. This is a bit of a relief. Sagna is still serving the red card ban, so we won’t have our regular back line. This is the one issue we are going to have with our line-up.

Out of the Barcelona camp, Puyol is still injured, which can only be a good thing for us. That mop-haired muppet is a regular in their side, and we’ll certainly benefit from his absence.

And interesting fact out of The Independent is that Messi has never scored on English soil. I’m not sure that really matters, as those sorts of stats are only the sort of thing people like to write about. They don’t hold any bearing on the actual proceedings. Pique has been slightly off form.

I set off to make a Barcelona v Arsenal graphics and things got way out of hand. I ended up making one those images that you would see in front of a boxing match or a UFC fight. It’s only missing some explosions and some gigantic fighting text.

You can see the finished result below, which can be clicked to get a full screen version (1920×1080, perfect for widescreen desktops).

Arsenal V Barcelona

After spending so much time staring at those ugly Spanish mugs, I felt the need to do something mean to them. It took me awhile to figure out what exactly, but suffice to say that I accomplished what I wanted to set out to do.

Here you can see the Barcelona players for who they really are, a bunch of trolls.

Arsenal V Barcelona - Trolls

If you are both an Arsenal fan AND a reddit user, then I hope you find that extra special.

Come on Arsenal!

The Dowd Abides

A lot has been said about the Newcastle game, but I haven’t had a chance to chime in yet. My very quick summary is that we lost that match for three reasons, in order of importance:

  1. Phil Dowd and the assistant referees
  2. Arsenal rolled over too easily
  3. Diaby lost control

Dowd’s decisions were atrocious. He awarded a number of dubious fouls in Newcastle’s favor, missed fouls and card-able offenses directed at Arsenal players, and awarded a non-penalty. The reason this is the biggest issue in the game is that no matter how well Arsenal played, Dowd’s decisions would’ve always change the tide.

Had Dowd not made horrible decisions, perhaps Arsenal wouldn’t have been so susceptible to just rolling over to Newcastle. On the other hand, perhaps Arsenal would’ve rolled over even if Dowd wasn’t a bumbling idiot. In fact, that would have been a much more desirable outcome. At least then it would be just our fault, and not the combination. The difference between the first and second half was astonishing. We completely lost our will to survive the match. We defended perfectly in the first, but the pressure of the crowd, the ref, and Newcastle overwhelmed us.

I empathize with Diaby’s outburst. His leg was snapped by a tackle very similar to that. In addition, Joey Barton is a thug who commits these offenses on a regular basis. It’s a wonder he is still even allowed on the pitch given the number of long lasting injuries he’s inflicted.

It is instinct to react physically like that when you are being threatened physically. The only problem is that players aren’t allowed to react like that, so the red was absolutely warranted. It should’ve been given to Barton as well, or at least a yellow (combined with the prior non-carded tackle on Arshavin).

In summary, it was a game we just couldn’t win. We have to move on.

However, that shouldn’t stop us from making fun of and laughing at Phil Dowd. This man has cost us more than one game. In fact, he has cost more than Arsenal more than one game. His list of terrible decisions reads like a who’s-who of premier league match-ups.

In fact, Wilshere was entirely justified to tweet that Dowd was terrible that match. I can’t believe that the F.A. wants to prevent players from speaking their minds honestly about the match, especially with the types of decisions being made. But where is the consistency? They are completely void of credibility given the seeming randomness of their punishments. Some players are punished for questioning tweets, others are not. Or did they let Wilshere go because he was absolutely right?

The F.A. needs to review Dowd’s recent performances. He’s been at the end of the bar guzzling scotch all night and the bartender really needs to cut him off.

There are currently no english words to describe the number of ways I want’ to make fun of Phil Dowd through the use of Photoshop. I may produce a series.

Dowd - La Forge

How many non-Arsenal kits do you think Dowd owns?

Twitpics – Sagna Sleeping… Dreaming

So right now, as I write this, Fabregas and van Persie have been taking pictures of their teammates as they sleep. I’m not sure what kind of a team bonding experience this is, but it’s clear that this is how you are supposed to treat your teammates.

Wilshere is awake and tweeted that he is never going to be able to sleep while travelling again. Good idea. Fabregas is going to get it if he ever falls asleep.

Anyways, Persie’s picture of Sagna was just too funny. Sagna looked perfectly asleep, off dreaming dreams of conquering the world.

Sagna Dreaming